Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Stand By Me


Even thought it was already a classic by the time I was a kid, Rob Reiners coming of age film Stand by Me has always been one of my favorite films. The film centers around four boys who head off into the woods of their Oregon town in search of the body of a missing boy. The story is based on Steven King's novella The Body.

Ha ha, Gordie loses! You lose Gordie! Ol' Gordie just screwed the pooch!

Okay... okay... you've stated your position clearly. Now I'm gonna state mine: get in the fucking car, now!

If I could only have one food for the rest of my life? That's easy-Pez. Cherry-flavored Pez. No question about it.

You let him beat you, you cock-knocker! Ha ha ha!

That was the all-time train dodge! Too cool! Vern, you were so scared you looked like that fat guy, Abbott Costello, when he saw the mummy.

Walking talking Jesus!

By far one of the most famous scenes in the movie is the story told by Gordie around the campfire, about Lardass, a local teen who is constantly harassed about his weight and plots his revenge against the community that abuses him.

Slowly, a sound started to build in Lardass' stomach. A strange and scary sound, like a log truck coming at you at a hundred miles-an-hour. Suddenly, Lardass opened his mouth, and before Bill Travis knew it. . he was covered with five pies worth of used blueberries. The women in the audience screamed. Bossman Bob Cormier took one look at Bill Travis and barfed on Principal Wiggins, who barfed on the lumberjack that was sitting next to him. Mayor Grundy barfed on his wife's tits. But when the smell hit the crowd, that's when Lardass' plan really started to work. Girlfriends barfed on boyfriends. Kids barfed on their parents. A fat lady barfed in her purse. The Donnelley twins barfed on each other, and the Women's Auxiliary barfed all over the Benevolent Order of Antelopes. And Lardass just sat back and enjoyed what he'd created-a complete and total barf-o-rama!


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